Source: Various / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
Close your eyes and imagine your most special day. Any moment where you see yourself
at your most beautiful. Think about every aspect…what you’re wearing,
the colors, sights and sounds of where you are. Now for the most
important part. How are you wearing your hair?
Up until
very recently my answer would have always been straight or some version
of flat-ironed, curled, wavy hair. I told myself that I love my natural
hair, but when I envisioned
myself on my wedding day or formal occasions, the version of myself
that I saw always had straight (or some variation there of) hair.
Source: Africa Miranda Flat Ironed Hair (No Pieces) / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
How many
of us happily rock our twist-outs, but for job interviews, special
occasions (and yes our wedding days) have straightened our hair? I’ve
been natural for almost 10 years and would be the first to tell you that
I was a proud member of #TeamNatural, but in the last couple of years I
had to face some hard truths about what I truly felt was beautiful.
So how
does the girl who’s known for her hair get here? Growing up I always
wanted long hair. I was relaxed the majority of my life, and while my
hair was very thick and would be great in a roller set, it never grew
past my collarbone. Thanks to the cycle of relaxers and
flat-ironing/curling it every other day I thought this was as far as my
hair could grow. Weaves gave me the length and “hair drama” I was
looking for, but I still wanted it for my own. Once I stopped relaxing
my hair and fully transitioned to natural hair (a sixteen month
process), I was ready to see what my hair could do.
Coconut Oil and a Dream
The first
wake up call of being natural was that I didn’t have the perfect
ringlet curls I saw online. In the surface this wasn’t a huge issue for
me. “Laid edges” were never my goal, all I was focused on was reaching
the lofty BSL (bra strap length). All of this sounds a little ridiculous
as I write it, but at the time it was very serious business.
Source: Africa Miranda for Creme Of Nature / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
I started
religiously taking hair vitamins and slathering coconut oil over my
entire life. Almost 5 years into my natural hair journey I reached my
goal. Also during this time shot hair campaigns for 2 of the major
African-American hair care companies. If you had asked me then if I loved my hair my answer would be a resounding “yes!”
Source: The Day The Heat Damaged Happened / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
In August
of 2014 everything changed. I was booked to do an appearance at a
beauty event and had my hair prepped the night before in a rod set. When
it came time to get me ready the next morning, the glam squad arrived
and because of the length and thickness of my hair, it wasn’t dry. If
you’ve never been prepped for an appearance, the closest I can compare
it to is a bride before the ceremony. Someone is dressing you, applying
your makeup, and finishing your hair…literally a whirlwind of activity.
In the hustle and bustle I didn’t realize that my stylist (whom I had
worked with for years prior) was curling my damp hair with a curling
iron to make it blend with the pieces that were dry. Little did I know
that at that moment, 95% of my hair was destroyed. I went to my
appearance for the next two days, curls popping, and was none the wiser.
Source: Africa Miranda In Dubai Trying To Restore Her Hair / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
Five days
later I washed my hair and learned the ugly truth, I had the dreaded
“heat damage.” As soon as the water in the shower touched my hair it
turned into tangled clumps. At first I thought it was because I was
using a conditioner that was different from my usual. After tears and
tired arms I finally finished washing my hair in the shower and started
retracing my steps. I didn’t want to believe what had happened, but the
only thing that had changed in my hair routine was hotel room hair prep
for my appearance. I was devastated but immediately went into denial. I
told myself that the damage wasn’t as bad as I thought and immediately
started the process of protein treatments, youtube videos, anything I
could get me hands on to “reverse” what happened. But as we all know and
I had to accept, is that there is nothing you can do but cut off the
damaged hair.
Source: Various / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
So here I
was almost 7 years into my natural hair journey and I had to transition
all over again. In retrospect I can admit I was being pretty dramatic,
but my identity and career were so tied to my hair and I wondered what
that would mean for me. I also was forced to take a look at myself and
acknowledge that I tied my worth and beauty to the length of my hair and
specifically how it looked when it was straight. Up until that point I
had never walked a red carpet or done any type of major
shoot/event/appearance with my hair in a wash-n-go or twist-out. I had
perfected my “Joan curls” a la Tracee Ellis Ross…a
frothy halo of blown out hair set on flexi-rods. Now I had a head full
of hair that because it was severely damaged, wouldn’t cooperate with
any of my signature looks.
Source: Africa’s Go To Style To Camouflage Her Damaged Hair / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
Immediately
I went to what I knew: wigs, half-wigs, clip-ins, pompadours…anything
to camouflage my thinning hair. Oh, did I fail to mention that even
though I was transitioning again I still
hadn’t done a major cut yet? Yes it is as foolish as it sounds. I
wasn’t ready to accept what happened, was worried about how my hair
would look and be received
on social media, and I also was still obsessed with keeping my hair at
BSL. When I finally got a couple of trims the depression would start in
again because my hair was “so short.” Thankfully around December of 2015
I was introduced to a book entitled Afro State of Mind by Lurie Daniels-Favors.
It speaks on the author’s own hair journey and gives amazing insight on
the psychology and damage many of us hold when it comes to textured
hair. The book forced me to acknowledge and confront many issues I
didn’t know that I had. How was I telling women to love themselves and
their hair when I wasn’t even sure if I did? From that moment
on I challenged myself to face my issues and break the last chains of
mainstream beauty standards I was holding onto.
Breaking The Chains
Source: Image via BeautifullyBrown.com / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
Armed with the passion from Afro State of Mind,
I entered 2016 with a new sense of purpose. I started sharing my
journey back from heat damage on social media and also started showing
my hair…as is. I definitely got some comments of “I liked it better before,”
and the like. However the majority were overwhelmingly supportive and
helped many others share their stories as well. I also got to really
experience my hair in a way I never had before. When I initially
transitioned, I wore wigs/extensions for 90% of the experience.
I didn’t start actually styling and wearing my own hair out until it
was shoulder-length, so styling it and finding my comfort level at this
length was totally new for me. Determined not to fall into my old
comfort zone, when I received a red carpet invite I resisted
the urge to throw on a piece or do a stretched flexi-rod set, walking
the carpet in a twist-out. I did photoshoots, traveled and went on
auditions, all with my hair in a short twist-out or wash-n-go.
Source: Various / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
When I started to view my hair as a true part of myself, not a problem I had to fix, everything
changed. I’m not going to lie and say that it is hard when old photos
pop up and I see my hair from a few years ago, or that I don’t
occasionally wonder how long it would be if that had never happened.
Work in progress, ok? What this process has taught me however is that
instead of asking why did this happen ‘to” me, to instead ask why it
happened “for” me. The stylist that damaged my hair never apologized and
we have never spoken or seen each other since. As hurt as I was, I
never would have faced the beauty issues I was holding onto if this
hadn’t happened. I would have never done the work needed to be a more
whole version of myself. I’ve learned to be thankful for this latest
part of my life journey and I now accept my hair in all of it’s forms
and honor it and myself.
Source: Joe Chea / Courtesy of Africa Miranda
So now do I love my hair? Yeah, I think so. My hair – blown out wand curls. No Pieces.
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