Goodbye To Bullies & Badly Behaving Broads: Why Black Women Are Quitting Reality TV

Source: Jesse Grant / Getty

This is not about stereotypes. And it is deeper than “how we are depicted on TV.” It goes further than neck rolling and finger poppin’, and Andy Cohen’s cluelessness. This is about the mental health of a community, and specifically black women. This is about how reality TV has created a space where sisterhood has been savaged, in a continuous, 24/7 loop.
I have been watching Love & Hip-Hop since the Chrissy/Jim Jones days, that is, from the beginning. LHHNY begat Love & Hip Hop Atlanta, and then the somewhat sub-par Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. Add to that a dash of Basketball Wives, The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and Blood, Sweat & Heels. Mix in a bit of Married to Medicine, and R&B Divas, and I am on a steady diet of dolled-up, hair laid, face beat, crazy-ass blacklady pathology on a regular basis. And for a minute, I was able to compartmentalize it as entertainment.
But lately, I’m feeling it may be time to chuck up the deuces.

Frankly, delight has turned to disgust as I am once again witness to black women ripping into each other continuously and relentelessly. That’s the entire plot. It used to be about “relationships” or “love” or “family” but today this tired formula seems to be set in stone: In damn near every single scene (backdrop: irrelevant) at least two women are at each others throats, if not physically, then with a constant stream of loud, sometimes scathing verbal putdowns.
Case in point: In this season of LHHATL, almost single woman on the show had “beef” with another, usually times two. There is no reprieve. Mimi vs. Margeaux; then Mimi vs. Dawn, then Jessica Dime vs. Joseline; then Dime vs. Tiffany Fox; Rasheeda vs. Ashley Nicole; Rasheeda vs. Karlie; Erica v. Bambi; hell, now even Deb Antney is throwing zingers at Kalenna? Which led to Deb’s daughter in law Tammy getting into Kalenna’s face. Oh, then there’s Yung Joc’s girlfriend vs. his baby mommas. And on and on…
The conflict on these shows crosses social class, age, and most of all, common sense and decency. And whether it’s scripted or real, the effects are the same.
I had a “Facebook roundtable” with some of the smartest women (and man) I know, and they too, say they are ready to walk away, or already have, though somebody’s obviously watching. But more than just being in their “feelings,” often it was about a real mood that is set after constantly consuming ourselves being at war with ourselves.
“I stopped because it just became too hard to watch. Especially the fighting. I found myself angry sometimes after watching a marathon,” says Dana, a celebrity hairstylist based in New York City. “All the hollering, screaming and fussing made me holler, scream and fuss.”
In fact, according to an issue of November 2013 issue of Psychology Today, consuming violent media, can in fact, increase aggression, though the media likes to point out that there is no definitive link:

The entertainment industry frequently claims that violent media do not increase aggression, even though it is obviously in the economic self-interest of the entertainment industry to make such claims. In 1972, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a warning about the harmful effects of TV violence. Since then, the scientific evidence has grown even stronger, but news reports claim less harm. … It is a paradox. On the one hand, the TV industry claims that a few minutes of advertising can sell soap, salsa, cereal, and even political candidates to viewers. …On the other hand, the TV industry claims that the hours of programming surrounding the few minutes of advertising have no effect on viewers.

“It normalizes negative behavior,” confirms Dr. Paulette Murphy, a clinical psychologist with a practice in New York City. “If you see it enough, you might think it’s ok. But the truth is, if someone is negative in your life, those people shouldn’t be in your life. And this isn’t how you should conduct yourself.”

Source: Prince Williams / Getty