When Facing Opposition By Majorie Harvey.

Last week, my husband hosted a Stepmom Summit on his show, that was designed to explore many of the numerous issues stepmothers face when dealing with a blended family. I was a part of the panel along with rapper T.I’s wife Tameka “Tiny” Harris, and Brenda Ockun. So many of the scenarios and questions the women in the audience presented, reflected situations I have lived through. I could tell by the numerous head nods in the audience, that many other women were relating to the dilemmas, as well. However, there was one particular question raised by a stepmother who was contending with children being taught by their mother to ridicule and ostracize her, specifically regarding her weight. The pain on her face reflected a mere glimpse of the deep seated anguish that I’m sure overwhelmed her heart.

Later on, I began thinking of how that microcosmic scenario represented an even bigger issue that seems to be resurfacing in society today, in numerous ways: dealing with children who are taught to hate, ostracize, and or ridicule. Essentially, dealing with opposition.
I was born and raised in Memphis, Tennessee so the realities of prejudice and discrimination are no stranger to me. I’ve seen social temperaments ebb and flow during different decades, yet there seems to be from so many angles, a resurfacing of racism’s ugly head in a more prominent way now. America, being the melting pot that it is, in many ways it is a grand scale portrait of a blended family and interestingly enough, this nation struggles with many of the same issues. Equally similar, are some of the anecdotes for change and navigating through analogous waters. I’m not suggesting that I have all of the answers to this nation’s problems but experience has been a great teacher and so has the historical contributions of previous world changers. When reflecting on both what I’ve learned privately, as well as the lessons great leaders have taught publicly in times past, here are at least 3 principles we all can live by to promote harmony in our world, our nation, and in our homes:
1. Always take the high road and seek to do what is right – Choose dignity over destruction. While you cannot control the actions of others, you can choose to model what should be done and how you will respond to their actions.
2. Commit to teaching children what is right – Whether they are our biological children or not, we all are part of a village. The children in our village need us to teach them what is right—most importantly, with our actions and also with our words. Parents or not, the children are watching and learning from all of us.
3. Remain consistent – It’s hard to keep hating someone who is loving you and demonstrating noble behavior. In time, haters will come around. They may not love you but they will respect you.