Last week I whimsically explored the nostalgia off old-fashioned romances, in the hopes of finding a love connection without having to delve into the wild world of online dating. What I learned of love is that it strikes in a myriad of unimaginably serendipitous ways. But why wait? Why not give Mrs. Serendipity a bit of help in her quest to strike a spark.
In this ever-changing landscape of Tinders, Bumbles, and Cupids, we sat down to figure out how to actually optimize these love-optimizing sites. It’s time to say goodbye to the never-ending chats that go nowhere and all those people that look nothing like their profile photo. Here’s how to actually find true love online.
Face The Truth
Message exchanges can often drag on forever without ever getting to the actual date. Or worse, you jump the gun on someone you barely talked to, only to be on a date with the least interesting man in the world. It’s time to face the truth and just Skype it out. Yes, sitting face-to-face with a total stranger might be the most awkward thing you’ve ever done, but you’ll quickly know whether there’s any real-time chemistry.
You Get What You Pay For
Although free apps like Tinder allow you to flip through thousands of potential suitors, it’s good to remember the old (but very true) adage: Easy come, easy go. If you want more than a booty call masked as a “Netlfix” invite, you may consider upgrading your site. Eharmony requires lengthy questionnaires, meaning you’re chances of running into Mr. Thoughtful have just gone up. Or consider women-centric sites like Bumble, that put the first move in your hand, keeping player-type predators at bay. If you’re looking for love, you may consider heading over to where the “love-minded” go; Steve Harvey’s dating sight Delightful caters specifically to lovers looking for something true.
Get Specific About What You Want
Actively dating quickly shows you what you want. In fact, there’s nothing like a bunch of bad lovers to teach you what you’re definitely not into. Don’t be afraid to spell it out. When writing your description of what you’re looking for, be really specific. Everyone is looking for “someone smart and funny that loves to travel.” But, what are you truly looking for? Delve into the deeper details. Don’t be afraid to boldly ask for what you need.
Three Times A Charm
Because we spend so much of our time online, many of us are rapidly declining in our abilities to actually charm people face-to-face. Now that you’ve had a few great online chats and have decided to meet in person, consider going on three dates. Yes, three dates may seem like a lot, but often it takes people a while to warm up to one another. After all, a quick blazing fire may burn strong and bright for a moment, but when it comes to finding a steady flame it’s all about the slow burn. So, if sparks don’t fly immediately, give it a chance–or three.
Lunch Dates
Consider this the online version of speed dating. Imagine if every lunch break you met one of your online suitors. Not only are you killing two birds with one stone (work and love), you’re also giving yourself a quick escape route straight back to the desk if things get weird.
Dare To Be Yourself
Your best bet for finding true love is to keep your profile true. Saying that you like whiskey and Breaking Bad reveals nothing about the truth of who you are. Use this portion of the site to reveal something so uniquely you. You know you’re headed in the right direction if what you’re writing feels potentially revealing. Some of the most provocative profiles are the ones where you can actually get a sense of someone’s passion or personality without them having to say, “I’m really funny and passionate.”
Ask The 36 Questions That’ll Make You Fall In Love With Anyone
Romantic intimacy is directly correlated to being able to share your vulnerabilities and have them reflected in the presence of another. Sometimes circumstance gives you that, other times you stumble into a perfect conversation. If you’re not the best at opening up, these 36 questions are guaranteed to make you fall in love with anyone. Designed to encourage intimacy, these revealing questions help generate mutual vulnerability and possibly find love, or at least give you one of the most unforgettable conversation of your life.
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