For all you single ladies, i know it’s a wildly unpredictable dating frontier out there these days — and i empathize. With a plethora of mixed signals, bad fish, misleading dating apps, and contradictory love advice, it’s hard to wrap your head around the modern dating game.
One of the earliest confusions with dating is analyzing the opposite
sex through your own lens (it doesn’t work). In case you haven’t heard,
men really are from Mars and women really are form Venus, and for as
much as we are all evolving into something broader, sometimes, going
back to the basics is the best dating advice you can get. Especially in
this era of overload, getting simple and clear advice can help to
quickly weed the good fish from the bad (much sooner).
Here are 3 simple dating differences between men and women that will change your dating game.
1. Men love and date like rubber bands. They’ll bounce back if you let them.
Although all humans have their own unique intimacy cycle, according to
John Gray author of Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus, men, just
like a rubber band, will stretch away after a long period of deep
connecting with a women in order to get their sense of autonomy, or
sense of self, back. This sense of independence and freedom is important
to a man, and once they have regained that feeling, just like a rubber
band, they will usually spring right back to their source of love (you).
The more they pull away from you, the deeper their desire for you
actually grows. If you don’t interrupt this process – and instead,
remain focused on yourself and your own great life – he will inevitably
bounce back, and the “stretch” will get shorter every time.
2. Men are not like your girlfriend, so don’t try to get them to behave like that. Remember, you’re looking for the man of your dreams.
Although men, too, are beautifully sensitive, deep-feeling creatures,
unlike women, most men don’t have the need to communicate every detail
of there innermost experience. In fact, most of them feel the need to do
their deeper processing in the “man cave.” When they are trying to
understand how they feel about something, they typically choose to do it
on their own. At the beginning of dating, men may be experiencing large
emotions of attraction and connection and, yes, even fantasy
future-thinking (could this be me wife?); but it doesn’t mean they’re
ready to share it with you. Don’t worry if the man isn’t initially
professing his love, men come to things a bit slower. What does matter
are the actions he’s taking in relation to you. Is he acting like
someone that has your best interest in mind, not by what he’s saying,
but by what he’s doing? If yes, an “I Love You” is most likely deep down
inside, slowly making its way to the surface.
3. Playing hard to get will only get you men that aren’t looking for something real.
Now that you understand that men are like rubber bands, it’s
important to break the notion that playing hard to get is the way to go.
If you’re critical, challenging, or avoidant as a way of running game
on a guy – and it’s working – you’re most likely involved with someone
that is stuck in that boyish phase of chasing girls on the playground
just to see how many he can catch. When a man is truly ready for an
adult relationship, he responds positively to feeling needed and
appreciated. John Gray writes: “If you want the relationship to blossom,
be sure to let the man know that he is capable of pleasing you. Success
brings men back. If he gets the impression that he cannot please you,
he’ll continue to look for a woman who he can.”