Why Scandal's Premiere Was the Best Episode in a Very Long Time.

Sooooo who's drunk?
I am kind of . while Scandal wasn't exactly a typical Scandal episode, i was already slightly gone after that episode of Grey's Anatomy.
It all started with Olivia, her amazing hair, and Jake drinking red wine and making out on a beach. And that was all it was for an entire hour. Nothing else happened. Good night.
Just kidding. Along with her red wine shipment (because of course) Olivia —sorry, we meant Julia Baker—received an envelope containing an obituary for one Harrison Wright (RIP), which sent her sneakin' back to DC to plan a funeral and discover what all of her old OPA homies were up to.
Quinn is apparently Olivia's new tracker. Huck works in IT at a place called "Smart Guy," and his name is Randy. Abby is the freakin' White House Press Secretary. David's going to be the next Attorney General. Papa Pope is just as much of a lying murderer as ever. Fitz is just as Fitzy as usual, but really, no one cares about that. Mellie—our new favorite character on TV ever in history—has basically checked out and only wears bathrobes or kimonos over pajamas now. Oh, and Uggs. We repeat: Uggs!

 Everyone freaked out a bit when Liv/Julia Baker came back into the picture. Fitz even stood by the window to look sullenly out of it as Cyrus told him the news. Later, Fitz and Olivia walked past each other and very nearly touched fingers. We very nearly threw up as they couldn't hide their little smiles post-hallway walk-by, even though Olivia's got Jake Ballard waiting at home with hamburgers and the sexiest talk on TV. ("I'm the one who makes you moan." COME. ON.)
It wasn't long before Olivia had a high-profile client needing her help, and OPA was sort of back in business, minus everyone but Olivia and Quinn. Blah blah blah, it wasn't the lady senator who killed the guy senator, it was the assistant and her boss was covering for her, but it was still the lady senator's fault, etc etc.
Guest star Portia De Rossi was also there, as the new head of the RNC, whom Cyrus not-so-affectionately called "Lizzie Bear." She apparently flew in on a broomstick, and has a southern accent.

Really, the episode was all about Jake Ballard being the hottest, scruffiest man currently on television. We almost forgot about how he murdered James last season—that's how damn fine he was in every moment he was on screen tonight. If we were Olivia, we would have gotten right back on that plane after the funeral to head right back to that island.
Who needs Washington D.C. when you've got Jake on a beach with regular deliveries of wine and books? Certainly not us. Alas, Olivia, quoting Harrison's iconic "Are we Gladiators or are we bitches?" line, decided to stay in D.C. after all, breaking out her white clothing (and hat) once more.
Side note: Bellamy Young was superb in tonight's episode as Mellie mourned the loss of her son. All of the Emmys for this woman, please!
So what did you think of the episode?